For as long as I carried you..

I have shared you with the world.

Nine months ago today they placed you in my arms and you slipped into my heart. Nine months ago today I became the Mommy to a beautiful baby girl.

For nine months I carried you, I cried, I talked to you, I sang to you, I prayed for you, I made wishes for you and I loved you more than anyone else loved you. You were a part of me and all that I was and all that I did and I am so thankful that God chose me to be your Mommy.

For as long as I carried you...
I have shared you with the world.

I have shared you with a world that is bright and beautiful. A world with amazing family and friends who welcomed you with open arms. A world where you can dream your dreams and wish your wishes. A world that God created just for you. A world that awaits you and the all that you have to offer it. A world where you can be your own kind of beautiful!

For as long as I carried you...
I have shared you with the world.

I hope the world gives you reason to always smile, laugh and cry with plenty of occasions to do them all at the same time.



I hope the world gives you many opportunities for new adventures.

I hope you always look at the world with wonder and your eyes wide open, never missing a thing.

I hope that you climb the ladder in the world to your own success and that you know I am behind you every step of the way.

I hope you know that when the world is not so kind and things are uncertain, that you will always have a hand to hold. Just reach out and grab the hand of God and know that He will never leave you or forsake you.


I hope that you find in a world that is so grand that you will take the road less traveled and leave your footprints along the way.


I hope in a world that is sometimes hurtful and harsh that you remember to dance in the rain, splash in the puddles, soak in the sunshine, play in the falling leaves and catch snow flakes on your tongue.

I hope this world gives you many reasons to stop and Thank God for all of the joys in your life and that you realize that your are saved by His grace.

I know that one day she will find her own place in this great big world and I can't wait to see where life takes her and to see Gods plans unfold for her. Until then, I will continue to love seeing this world through her eyes, and I will forever smile, laugh and cry through every happy moment, every trying moment and everything in between. She is my heart and I am blessed to call her my baby girl.

For as long as I carried you...
I have shared you with the world.

Ellee,
I am your parent, you are my child.
I am your quiet place, you are my wild.
I am your water wings, you are my deep.
I am your open arms, you are my running leap.
I am your finish line, you are my race.
I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace.
I am your favorite book, you are my new lines.
I am your night light, you are my sunshine.
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo.
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you!

9 month milestones

2 pearly white
Stands alone
Walks around holding on to things
Throws fits when things don't go her way
Loves hot dogs and mac and cheese
Everything goes to the mouth
Sleeping is sometimes overrated during the day

Nine months have gone by so fast and before we know it this Little Lady will be turning 1.

Love So Much!

Today my Reecer Piecer was invited to Cheney lake with one of his best buddies Tucker to celebrate the Tuck man turning 5. Reece has been so excited to go since I told him about it on Wednesday when he came home from school. He immediately walked in the door, down the stairs and started packing his bag. For 3 days he walked around the house with his backpack full of clothes and his tool box full of fabulous treasures to take with him.

We dropped him off at their house today around 12:30 and off on this grand adventure he went. Phil, Caden, Ellee and I drove out to the lake this evening and as we were getting ready to leave around 9:00 he wasn't sure that he was going to be able to stay. He just wanted me to stay too. So I told him that I had to take everyone back home and get my jammies and I would be back. In my head the whole time I'm thinking that he is going to crawl up and go to sleep and before he knew that I didn't come back it would be morning and he could go on about his fishing, playing, eating, and most of all getting dirty. I called when we were half way home and Dina said, "he's doing great" so we kept on a driving. We get home, we walk in the door, start bath water and the phone rings. Dina is laughing and says OK he is not even wanting you to come back out here, he is just wanting us to catch up with you so he can go home and he keeps saying I just love her so much!

My heart smiled, I laughed and said, I just love him so much too! Needless to say, Daddy met them in Goddard and picked him up to bring him back home. He has now had a bath, snuggled in his bed and is fast a sleep.

Son,
You may outgrow my lap someday, but you will never outgrow my heart!

I just love you so much too!!!!

24/7

The toughest job I have ever had!

Laundry Mat Attendant for the mountains of laundry that never seem to end!

Chief Cook and Bottle Washer for the bottomless pits that never get full!

Cheerleader for all of the soccer goals, basketball shots, pitches, catches, and hits!

Maid for all of those dirty bathtubs that prove it's been a GLORIOUS day!

I may get tired, I may get grumpy, I may get frustrated, but none of those things will ever out weigh the love I have for these three little people and the joy they bring to my everyday!

When Caden was born he filled my heart with love. When Reece was born I never thought I could love him as much as I loved Caden. When Ellee was born I never thought I could love her the same way I love my boys.....What I discovered was, I grew a brand new heart with each one!

I am paid with hugs, kisses, I love you Mommy's and lots and lots of smiles and laughter!

The GREATEST job I've ever had!

Love IS what makes you smile when you are tired!

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....

a wing walker with a lot of guts and trust!

What's an airshow in Kansas without a K-State Plane?

GO STATE!!!

Of course when your best buddy and his little sister get to share in the fun that makes for the best airshow ever!!!

No airshow is complete without a jet engine powered Johnnie on the spot!

We got to go on a walk down Memory Lane with Phil as he explained to the boys that Grandpa Ernie had a plane just like this one. They thought that was pretty cool and I have to admit so did I.

Remember the Johnnie on the Spot.....Well he also had a truck!

and put on an amazing show with flames, smoke, and then he made his way to the end of the runway....

and then went from 0-to 400mph. I repeat 0-400 mph!!! His poor poor Mama!!!!!

I don't even know how you begin to take pictures of something going that fast......It was amazing!!!

The night ended with this plane and firework show.

It was an absolutely great evening, spent with great people on a fabulous August evening!!

She marches to the beat of her own drum heart

and that's alright by me.

With a long weekend behind us and a trip to the pediatric cardiologist this morning our hearts aren't so heavy.

We were told today that while she does have an innocent heart murmur it is nothing to worry over. It is a very common thing and she will more than likely outgrow it by the time she becomes a teenager. I'm pretty sure that by the time she is a teenager, it will be my heart we are worrying over. So it's a good thing that she will have more than likely outgrown her condition by then.

She is still on antibiotics for the pneumonia and we will continue those for a couple of days in hopes that they will kick this and she will be back to her happy self, doing what she does and growing way too fast.

So for now, she will march on to the beat of her own drum heart. We will be thankful that God has made her just the way he wanted her to be and that while we desire her to be perfect by the worlds standards she is perfect by His and that is perfect enough for me!

I love her, I love her stripes, I love her in PINK, I love her toes, I love her nose, and I love her heart, new beat and all!!!

Her heart may be imperfect and my heart is breaking

With a visit to the immediate care last night for a baby who had more going on then just cutting teeth, we found out by the Doctor on call that her "heart was dancing" is fancy for "has Doctor ever talked to you about her having a heart murmur?" I said, "No he has never said anything of the sort." She left it at that and told me that her ears were great, her oxygen levels were perfect, and she was going to call it allergies. Back home we came.

This afternoon we went back to the doctor to discuss the "dancing heart" and address the now green yuck that was coating her face. He comes in the room and immediately listens to her heart and indeed hears something that he doesn't think is normal and sends us for an x-ray. We make our way to the lab and the torture chamber created by the devil himself awaits my baby. They take her from me and shut the door, she is screaming her head off and I am standing behind the door trying to remember to breathe, wiping the tears that are now streaming down my face at an uncontrollable rate. I wait!

The door soon opens and my baby is back in my arms where God intended for her to be and we are told to please go have a seat in the waiting room and the Doctor would be with us in a few moments. Moments passed. What seemed to be like years passed. Finally the nurse came out to get us. She put us in a room and closed the door. Ellee laid her head on my shoulder and I sang the song I have sung to my kids since the day they were born:

I love you up to the moon.
I love you big as the sky.
I love to watch you when you sleep.
I love to hold you when you cry
And one day when your older and taller than me
I'll say I watched you grow like a beautiful tree.

I love you up to the moon.
I love you big as the sky.
You'll always be my little girl.
I love you the best that a Mama can,
And one day when they rise up and call me blessed,
I'll say it was a joy to give her my best.

I love you up to the moon.
I love you big as the sky.
I love you UP TO THE MOON.

Tears still stream down my face because my baby may have an imperfect heart and my heart is breaking!

The Doctor walks in with a very perplexed look on his face and proceeds to tell me that while her heart does not appear to be in any immediate danger, he wants her to see a pediatric cardiologist for further evaluation. He then looks at me and says the thing more puzzling to me right now is that this x-ray reveals that she has pneumonia in both of her lungs. He looked at me with a confused look on his face and said, "Never in a million years would I have thought this baby had pneumonia. She has no other signs of it other than these pictures." They checked her oxygen levels which came back awesome, she has no fever, she isn't wheezing, she isn't coughing, she is not lethargic--she is just fussy, which at first I chalked up to it being teeth. But after two days of nothing working it was time forimmediate care.

So tonight I sit at home with my baby wondering why I didn't ask more questions. Why if she has pneumonia in both of her lungs does she not have more signs of it? Why did he not admit her to the hospital? How am I suppose to know if she is better or worse if she has no signs? What am I suppose to think about this rapid heart rate that my baby has beating in her chest and I am told she is not in immediate danger? What is immediate danger? I am her mother and I was supposed to think of all of these questions to ask before I left but couldn't gather my thoughts enough to even function or think about what I needed to ask. I am her mother and my heart is breaking! Why I ask!

So as we make our way through the night I will make my list of questions to ask, so that when they call me first thing in the morning with an appointment to meet with the pediatric cardiologist I can begin finding out my answers.

My babies heart may be imperfect, her lungs full of pneumonia and my heart breaking because there is nothing that I can do about it, but I will will continue to trust in God and know that He knows everything there is to know about my baby--including her heart and lungs. God knows and even though I can't imagine loving her more than I do, or anyone else loving her more than I do....HE DOES and in HIS eyes, she is perfectly and wonderfully made in HIS image and for that I am eternally grateful.

When you were born they put you in my arms and you slipped into my heart and I love you!